Pregnancy has always been something I have been excited about. I’ve been waiting my whole life to be a mother. This was really my only goal growing up-ask my friends and family! I always thought that it was something magical and that I would be glowing the entire time.
Well…
It’s not been all “glowy” and magical. Don’t get me wrong… I’m still super excited about our little girl, and wouldn’t change anything for the WORLD! Every movement she has makes me even more excited to get her here. I honestly could not love something anymore than I love her, and I’ve never even met her! But with that being said, pregnancy has truly been harder than I thought. The teenage acne has totally taken away the “pregnancy glow” I thought would be there and during the first 20 weeks I puked more than I thought was humanly possible and I lost almost 20 lbs. because literally NOTHING would stay down. (The past month has been better and I’m creeping back up on the scales- haha!)
December 1st we found out about our little angel and the next day I started throwing up. Being sick and not being able to keep anything down, aside from ginger ale and peanut butter crackers, is bad… But I’ll argue that it’s the absolute worst during the holidays! (We decided to keep baby Eleanor a secret until Christmas because that’s when we’d be around our families and wanted to tell them at the “same time.”) Being sick meant two things: 1) Not being able to enjoy all of the delicious food Christmas time brings around and 2) Having to keep my sickness a secret for over 3 weeks! (It’s hard enough to keep it from co-workers and friends, but trying to keep it from my mother was almost impossible! But I made it happen!) Annnnd… to make matters even worse I work 12 hour shifts on an oncology unit as a RN; so watching my patients get sick with their chemo treatments was even more difficult than it had been before. I can proudly say that not even one of my patients knew how sick I was. There were more times than I can even remember where I had to excuse myself from a room and make a run for the bathroom… My “morning sickness” was more of an “all-day, every-day, day-to-day sickness!” To add to the pregnancy struggles, we also bought our first home and closed on it December 18th – just 7 days before Christmas! People always tell you that you will be tired during your first trimester, but for me the word “tired” was an understatement. I literally could have slept 24/7. Fortunately, that part got better after the first trimester but it did make moving and being able to help Jordan very difficult. (Although I’m sure he felt like it was just an excuse to take naps. haha)
Worrying is the next BIG thing I’ve dealt with since we found out about our baby girl. I am not anxious at all about the pain labor and delivery will bring to me – I think I’m prepared for all of that. (At least as much as I can be.) I pre-registered at the hospital by week 18 and we are now taking a birthing class. I know, I know… It’s a little early but it helps me feel prepared! (don’t judge) I just worry from time to time about her safety and being able to raise her to be a precious little girl. I know that we’ll be good parents that love her completely, but I pray God gives us the wisdom to be able to teach her how to be a polite, obedient, fun-loving child. (And maybe one that doesn’t worry as much as her mommy!)
Let me just take minute to brag on my AMAZING husband. He has been such a trooper through this whole thing. I cannot count the times he has had to pull the car over for me to lose my lunch, or washed the dishes because the leftover food particles made me gag, or having to eat take-out once again because I couldn’t handle the smells of food cooking in the kitchen. He’s going to be such a wonderful dad- I’m sure Miss Eleanor will be a daddy’s girl even though mom went through all of the trouble to get her here 😉
This photo is from our HALF-WAY point: 20 weeks! I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going, but I pray the next 15 weeks fly by. I simply can’t wait to hold our precious Eleanor Faith!
life, coffee & shenanigans 